Halloween Jokes

[JJ Judkins]

Q: Why do witches have to watch their temper?
A: They can get injured if they fly off the handle.
Q: Why did the vampire go to the orthodontist?
A: To improve his bite.
Q: What do you get when you cross a vampire and a snowman?
A: Frostbite.
Q: Why do witches use brooms to fly on?
A: Vacuum cleaners are too heavy.
Q: How do witches keep their hair in place while flying?
A: Scare spray.
Q: Do zombies eat popcorn with their fingers?
A: No, the fingers are always eaten separately.
Q: Why don't skeletons ever go out on the town?
A: They don't have any body to go out with.
Q: What is a vampire's favorite sport?
A: Casketball.
Q: What would a monster's psychiatrist be called?
A: Shrinkenstein.
Q: What do you call someone who poisons a person's corn
flakes?
A: A cereal killer.
Q: What kind of streets do zombies like the best?
A: Dead ends.
Q: What type of dog do vampire's like the best?
A: Bloodhounds.
Q: What does a vampire never order at a restaurant?
A: A stake sandwich.
Q: What is a skeleton's favorite musical instrument?
A: A trombone.
Q: What do birds give out on Halloween night?
A: Tweets.
Q: Why do vampires need mouthwash?
A: They have bat breath.
Q: Why did the Vampire subscribe to the Wall Street Journal?
A: He heard it had great circulation.
Q: Why don't mummies go on vacation?
A: They are afraid that they might relax and unwind.
Q: What is Dracula's favorite fruit?
A: Neck tarine
Q: What does a ghost eat for breakfast?
A: Ghost Toasties. Or, if he's in the mood for a hot breakfast,
Scream of wheat.
Q: How were the zombies invited to the Halloween party?
A: They all received in-grave invitations.
Q: What do monsters eat?
A: Monsters eat "things".
Q: What do monsters drink?
A: Monsters drink Coke.
Q: Why?
A: Because "things" go better with Coke.