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Post by JJ Judkins on May 5, 2011 16:55:20 GMT -6
Larry the Cable Guy quotes 1 I was seeing this girl for about six weeks, until someone took my binoculars... I was dating a red-head once, no red-hair, just a red-head. It was her birthday and I thought it would be cool to light my farts, and it caught her hair. I called the Fire Department but they said they couldn't get to us so we had to meet them halfway. I was lucky I passed a couple of red lights or we would've lost the whole kitchen. I was madder than a skinhead watching The Jeffersons! I was more confused than Ray Charles with a "Where's Waldo" Book. My sister was getting married, and she's a big ol' sum. Her friends were about as fat as she is and she bought them all matching brown dresses. They looked like a bunch of UPS trucks parked in the middle of the parking lot. I was taking a crap once and then my sister walks in and says, "I gotta get my hairspray." All of sudden she says "Uh, smells like crap in here.", What do you think's coming out of my rear, Twizzlers? I once tipped a stripper with Monopoly money, and after that she said "That's fake money!" I said "Alright, well them's fake" (If NASCAR had sponsorships from feminine products) "How'd you get tickets to the Tampon 200?" "Well, we pulled some strings."
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